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NVR

Nonviolent Resistance

NVR stands for nonviolent resistance. It is an approach that Gandhi and Mandela used during their socio-political movements. It has been developed into a parenting technique by Haim Omer that I believe should be embraced in the whole of parenting, or it can be used simply to focus on ‘challenging behaviour’.

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NVR consists of 9 pillars that work together and stem out of the main core that we call 'Parental Presence'.

NVR is relationship based at its centre. By the parent/carer building strong connection with their child/ren and becoming a firm and secure anchor we see  the parent/carer becoming more empowered, positive, safer and stronger in their child/teens life. This produces effective results.

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Parents and carers use these 9 pillars instead of the 'behaviour management' parenting techniques (i.e. reward and consequence, time out, etc.)

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NVR works really well with all children/teens, including aggression, violence and controlling behaviours.

NVR is also brilliant in conjunction with attachment theory.  We will look at attachment and  also understanding brain development during the program or sessions.

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05

ACTIVE RESISTANCE

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In the middle of permissive parenting and authoritarian parenting is active resistance. We use this towards actions and comments from our children / teens. 

06

SUPPORTERS

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We need a special kind of supporters when we parent the NVR method and we will learn how to find the right supporters/friends and also cooperation from schools if needed.

07

SIBLINGS

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If your family has siblings we work together on how to involve them and/or help them.

08 & 09

ANNOUNCEMENT & SIT IN

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These 2 pillars work together to find solutions to issues and the high priority basket. 

The announcement is a fixed format and lets the child/teen understand the seriousness of the situation.

The sit in is where we work with the child/teen to find solutions to a high priority basket situation.

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However we may find we don't even need these 2 pillars, in many cases the other pillars work together to build the relationship, create the parental presence and we see that that is enough.

01

SELF CARE

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We parents/carers need to be filled up and have the internal resources to give out or we work from a place of empty.

So self care is imperative in NVR.

02

RECONCILIATION GESTURES

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With no rewards in NVR we have RG's, a daily act of kindness regardless of child/teens performance.

03

BASKETS

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This what we call 'priorities'. We decide what needs attention and what we can let go of until other issues have been resolved.

04

DE-ESCALATION

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When our children / teens can't regulate themselves, we need to know how to model regulation for them and de-escalate situations. 

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