NVR

Nonviolent Resistance

NVR stands for nonviolent resistance. It is an approach that Gandhi and Mandela used during their socio-political movements. It has been developed into a parenting technique by Haim Omer that I believe should be embraced in the whole of parenting, or it can be used simply to focus on ‘challenging behaviour’.

NVR consists of 9 pillars that work together and stem out of the main core that we call 'Parental Presence'.

NVR is relationship based at its centre. By the parent/carer building strong connection with their child/ren and becoming a firm and secure anchor we see  the parent/carer becoming more empowered, positive, safer and stronger in their child/teens life. This produces effective results.

Parents and carers use these 9 pillars instead of the 'behaviour management' parenting techniques (i.e. reward and consequence, time out, etc.)

NVR works really well with all children/teens, including aggression, violence and controlling behaviours.

NVR is also brilliant in conjunction with attachment theory.  We will look at attachment and  also understanding brain development during the program or sessions.

05

ACTIVE RESISTANCE

In the middle of permissive parenting and authoritarian parenting is active resistance. We use this towards actions and comments from our children / teens. 

06

SUPPORTERS

We need a special kind of supporters when we parent the NVR method and we will learn how to find the right supporters/friends and also cooperation from schools if needed.

07

SIBLINGS

If your family has siblings we work together on how to involve them and/or help them.

08 & 09

ANNOUNCEMENT & SIT IN

These 2 pillars work together to find solutions to issues and the high priority basket. 

The announcement is a fixed format and lets the child/teen understand the seriousness of the situation.

The sit in is where we work with the child/teen to find solutions to a high priority basket situation.

However we may find we don't even need these 2 pillars, in many cases the other pillars work together to build the relationship, create the parental presence and we see that that is enough.

01

SELF CARE

We parents/carers need to be filled up and have the internal resources to give out or we work from a place of empty.

So self care is imperative in NVR.

02

RECONCILIATION GESTURES

With no rewards in NVR we have RG's, a daily act of kindness regardless of child/teens performance.

03

BASKETS

This what we call 'priorities'. We decide what needs attention and what we can let go of until other issues have been resolved.

04

DE-ESCALATION

When our children / teens can't regulate themselves, we need to know how to model regulation for them and de-escalate situations.